About 4 months ago, in March, my mom spent around a month in Houston. She had a little furnished apartment that provided shuddle service back and forth to MD Anderson Cancer Center. For those of you who don't know, my mom has cancer. Waldenstrom. It's a form of Lymphoma.
She had been there for 3 or 4 weeks when it was my turn to fly down for the weekend. I got off the plane, rented a car, and took off in search of her apartment. I found it, called her to tell her I was there, and turned into the parking garage. I went around and around trying to figure out which floor I needed to park on and she told me that she was outside so I'd see her when I got to where I needed to be. I came around the curve and I saw her. Standing there. And for the first time ever, my mom looked sick.
By this point, it had been over a year since her diagnosis and I knew she was sick and I could tell she was tired but she didn't "look" sick. But that day in March, she literally looked sick. I sat in the car a few minutes and pretended that I was on the phone so that I could catch my breath and wipe my tears. She was thin. So thin. She was wearing a face mask, which was a requirement the whole time she was there and on her flight home, and her hair was thin and patchy. There were places where I thought I could see her scalp.
Of course, being my mother, she immediately wanted to know my thoughts on her hair and how she looked. And me, being her daughter, couldn't lie. I told her she looked sick. And thin. And that I could see her scalp. And her, being my mother, started to fret. "Can you really see my scalp? Is it bad? Are you sure it's not just because I got it cut really short and you're not used to it?" I told her that maybe that was it and she told me that she hadn't really noticed any hair fallling out.
She had been undergoing chemotherapy the whole time she had been there in preparation for stem cell harvesting. She knew she would lose her hair so she went to the free salon at MD Anderson and had her hair cut really short. This place is amazing folks. It's all about people with cancer. You wouldn't understand it unless you've been there but they truly get it. They cut her hair for her and gave her a few head covers..you know, scarves and do-rags.
This was a Thursday night. Friday we got up and went to the cancer center in the morning. We spent most of the day there seeing different doctors and waiting around for some blood work to come back. She wasn't ready to harvest (which was very upsetting at this point) so we went back the apartment. We couldn't really go anywhere because her immune system was greatly compromised (hence the mask). Saturday morning we woke up and just sat around watching TV. We FINALLY decided to take showers and get ready for the day. Mom went to wash her hair and that's when it happened. I heard her yelling my name. I ran in the bathroom and she was standing at the sink sobbing. In both of her tiny, petite hands were clumps of her blonde hair. She dropped the hair in the sink and ran her fingers through it again. Again, handfuls of her dirty blonde hair came falling out. By this point, we were both sobbing. I told her to leave it alone and get dressed. She called my dad and her sister and cried her eyes out.
We got in the car and drove until we found a hair salon. We stumbled upon a TGIF Haircutters (or whatever it's called) and walked in. We quietly told the lady that mom needed her head shaved. The lady nodded and immediately took us back, before all of the other people that were waiting. She quickly shaved my mom's head down to the scalp. I cried. Mom cried. It was a major bonding experience. Then the lady charged her $15 but that's a whole different story...
Anyway, why am I telling this story today? Well you see she bought a beautiful wig and most people didn't even notice that she was bald. But yesterday, she went to her hairdresser and got her hair colored (it's coming back gray...and curly...which is very odd, but kind of cool). Today, she is wig free folks. I haven't seen her yet but I'm sure she looks amazing. She says it's very short but it's there and she is done with the wig for now. She goes back to Houston in August and we are hoping that she doesn't lose it all over again.
I'm thrilled that she has hair. I'm amazed that she has been so strong. I'm excited that she hasn't missed a beat. But most of all, I'm honored that she's my mother.